I'm ME!

Last night was amazing.

It rained all day yesterday, so I scrapped my commissary plans. Grocery store, rain, and a semi-sick baby do not mix. Also, I am trying not to infect the world with germs. But as the day wore on, I began to go from feeling like the walking dead to feeling... Normal. I thought that possibly my sickness was going away (No, I woke up just as bad this morning). After cooking dinner (Macaroni and cheese mixed with tuna and frozen veggies. I was sick and in need of groceries.), I decided I would go to the commissary. David could spend some quality time with DJ, and I could get some much needed time alone. Quiet time to think and relax.

I have always enjoyed grocery shopping. The time to myself always appealed to me. So what if the commissary is crowded? That just gives me more time alone. When DJ was born, Grocery shopping turned into something I could look forward to. It was a chance to get out of the house. Now that he is older, it is a mad dash to feed and change him, get in the car, shop, rush home, feed him/put away cold stuff, change him, put him down to nap, and then feed myself while putting away the non-perishables. It always exhausts me, and isn't really the quiet and calm adventure I used to look forward to.

So last night I kissed my boys goodbye, grabbed my wallet, coupon book, and reusable bags, and hopped in the car. It felt good to travel so light. To not have to keep an eye on the clock, or check for a wet diaper. I was just another woman pushing a cart, not a Momma trying to keep her child entertained and away from anything he could pull off the shelves. It felt good.

What made it better was coming home. Hubby was there to help unload the groceries. Even better - He had washed dishes, cleaned up dinner, and picked up DJ's mess in the living room. What a wonderful husband!

Before I became a Momma, I overlooked these moments. Because of David's deployment and the distance from my family, DJ went everywhere I did. The commissary, the DMV, the gas station, Walmart, for ice cream... The list goes on. Our attachment is strong because of that. On our trip to Kansas it was VERY clear that DJ was a Momma's boy. But it is so easy for me to get lost in the duties and joys of being a Momma, and forget that I am also ME. Amanda. A woman, wife, and daughter, not just a Momma.